Coming soon: Love, Hate, Love

A kind of funny, sort of angsty, love story.

Chapter One

Leah

Kade Hawk. He’d been my first love, perfect and always just out of reach. I’d skinned my knees with him as a child and then dreamt of him as a teen. He’d been everything I’d thought a man should be—until he hadn’t. He’d turned his back on me when I needed him most. He’d taken a blowtorch to those feelings, leaving nothing but burned ash in their place.

Now he was inserting himself back into my life at the lowest point of my existence and there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it. I didn’t like it. I didn’t trust it, and damn anyone who told me he was just trying to help.

“Leah.” My brother Monroe’s voice jarred me back to the present with an underlying urgency that made it clear this wasn’t the first time he’d called my name.

My attention jerked back to the present, the one place I didn’t want to be.

“We need to get out. It’ll look weird if we just sit in the car in his drive.” He let out a sigh while I struggled to breathe at all.

“Looking weird is the least of my issues,” I said.

The ranch house loomed ahead, nothing like the run-down house from my childhood. It could make the most hardened soul want to burst out singing “This Land Is Your Land.” It oozed charm with its thick log walls, swing on the front porch, and even a damned weather vane on the roof. The Montana hills gave it a storybook setting, autumn colors making it look more idyllic than a Kinkade painting, and I still wasn’t sure this was better than prison.

“It won’t be that bad,” my brother said, getting out of the car and letting in a gust of biting, cold air.

He dug my luggage out of the trunk and came around to the passenger side, opening the door. I had a fleeting thought of locking myself in the car before I got out.

“I’m telling you, it’s not going to be bad,” he said, standing beside me, feeling more like a jail guard than my best friend and the only blood relative left I wanted to speak to.

“Can I have a minute to enjoy my last few breaths of freedom without having to endure your unrelenting optimism?” If he kept talking to me like Glinda the Good Witch he was going to get a black eye. That would take the glow off his rainbow. Sometimes when you were wallowing in a pit of despair, cheeriness tasted like the bitterest of pills.

“You know, you used to be an optimist,” he said, that cheery tone still clinging to his words like a bad case of mange.

“Used to. I’m reformed. Optimism is for the delusional.”

“Are you implying I’m delusional?” he asked, his all is good tone still firmly in place.

“If the ruby slipper fits.”

He snorted and then shook his head. “It won’t last. You can’t be a pessimist, or at least not for long. It’s not who you are.”

I loved him to death, but all I wanted right now was for him to shut the hell up.

“I didn’t used to be a thief, either and I managed to change that up nice and quick,” I said.

That bought me one second of silence before his rosy outlook kicked back in.

“I know there’s more to the story. You’ve never stolen so much as a stick of gum and you’ll tell me what really happened one day.”

“You keep on believing that, just like how Kade is a great, stand-up guy.”

Other than our both being blessed with blonde locks and good looks, me and my brother were nothing alike. Monroe always thought the best of everyone, and somehow that seemed to have been working out for him. His wife, who was incredibly wealthy with family money, thought he was the most perfect specimen to walk the earth and they spent their lives flitting around on vacations and parties, with their endless list of friends.

It didn’t seem to matter where he was or what he was doing—he was the one who would take my call any time, day or night. More than my mother, or my father when he was alive, I’d do anything for Monroe.

“He’s got his flaws, of course, but so does everyone,” he said. “We’re all a mixed bag. You two just don’t click as adults. Sometimes that happens as we get older.”

I rolled my eyes and then glued them to his face.

After a couple seconds of my laser stare, he shrugged. “Fine. Maybe he’s not always the most pleasant person, but he’s doing us a huge favor by letting you come here and keeping you out of prison.”

I glanced over my shoulder at the rental car behind us. How much gas was in the tank? Had Monroe left the keys in the ignition?

He followed my line of vision. “Don’t even think about it. You’ll only get caught, and you know you won’t make it a day in prison.”

Did I, though? Was I really so sure about that? Could it be worse than this? Than him?

“You know they have those white-collar prisons. I’ve heard they let you play shuffleboard, take cooking classes. I’m way behind on my reading list. I think I could make it work.”

My brother gave me a push on the back, like a broken toy he was trying to get moving.

My legs might’ve been frozen, but my elbows were working just fine.

“Ow,” he grunted, moving his arm to shield his ribs from another blow. “You don’t have to hit me.”

“Then stop shoving me.” We’d only been kicking, hitting, and shoving each other for the twenty-eight years I’d been alive. He knew the rules by now.

He reached out as if he were going to try to shove me forward again but stopped short. I might be barely over five foot, but I gave as good as I got.

“Leah, no part of me likes this. Just go in and get it over with.”

He was right. I wasn’t ready to go to prison, no matter how nice it seemed in comparison to him, the man who owned this ranch.

I might’ve made a groan similar to Big Foot dying as I nodded.

My brother picked up my suitcase and walked toward the house.

He stopped after a few feet, looking back at me. He tilted his head toward the front porch, his eyebrows raised.

I would’ve followed if I could’ve gotten my lungs to fill with air and the crushing sense of panic to ease up. This man who had once been my childhood confidant was now going to relish being front and center, watching my fall from grace. And wow was I doing it in the most stellar way imaginable. I’d tried to work hard my entire life to become someone, and this was definitely not the someone I imagined I’d become.

“I’m coming.” I forced my legs forward, the gravel walk eating up my stiletto heels like it was trying to suck me under. Or save me? Just because I was walking across a gravel drive that had seen torrential rain within the last twenty-four hours didn’t mean it was science or gravity at work. One might imagine it was Mother Earth, trying to warn me off and leave this hellish man’s ranch.

Monroe had almost made it to the porch. I, on the other hand, had only made it another few feet, continuing to fight Mother Earth for my shoes.

I was actively trying to keep my heels on, walking like a drunk duck, when Kade stepped out onto the porch, the wind howling right at that moment as if even nature would do what he commanded. He’d surely known we were out here for a while. But yeah, that was Kade Hawk. Never one to rush himself on behalf of anyone else. Nope, he’d leave us lingering in his drive for an hour if that fit his schedule. He’d show up when he was good and ready, and the world could like it or shove it. For some reason, that behavior seemed to have worked out for him, considering the upgrades to this place.

I’d hoped he’d gotten paunchy. The only place his clothing was snug was where it stretched to accommodate his biceps. He was wearing jeans that were broken in at all the right places, roughed-up boots, and a t-shirt that hugged his body like it couldn’t get enough of him, just like all the girls had. I guess when you were born with a jaw that chiseled and hair so dark and thick that even the Kardashians were envious, you didn’t have to spend too much time on the frills.

I used to think he was an angel sent from heaven to protect me. Now I thought his looks were to cloak his black soul from the naïve prey he stalked. That was how it went with the evil ones. There were perks to selling your soul to the devil. Although I might’ve been underestimating him. For all I knew, he might’ve been the one collecting the contracts.

Those whiskey-colored eyes turned on me and my breath caught. It was the first time we’d laid eyes on each other in years, and in spite of the fact my opinion of him had nosedived worse than a fighter plane in WWII trying to bomb the Germans, my body hadn’t gotten the memo that we hated him. My stomach clenched and my heart stopped beating when our eyes locked.

He turned his attention to my brother, as if my presence was insignificant, but the vein bulging in his neck told a different story. I still got under his skin, as much as he did mine.

My steps slowed as they were gripping hands in greeting.

I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but the low timbre of Kade’s voice carried, sending a hum through me that settled all the way in my gut and warmed me up better than half a bottle of whiskey on this chilly autumn night. I could attest to this, since I’d drunk close to that last night and all I’d gotten for it was a wicked headache today and a touch more nausea than I’d probably have had anyway.

I forced myself a few steps closer. Kade wasn’t looking at me, but he was clocking my every move. Last thing I’d do was give him the satisfaction of appearing afraid. But I liked it here, safe in the shadows, where I could let my eyes adjust to the sight of him before every reaction would show on my face. When we were kids, everyone had known I had a crush on him from the way I looked at him. I couldn’t risk any remnant of that popping back up. Even if I didn’t like him anymore, I wasn’t sure how my body might react. This situation was degrading enough without his thinking I carried a torch for him, or worse, a bonfire, as they used to tease. I had to blank out my face, the way he’d always been able to.

I took a few more steps.

“Thanks for doing this,” Monroe said. He sounded so grateful that listening to him was like chugging a gallon of honey.

Luckily Kade was there to cut the sweetness with his vinegar. If there was one person who wasn’t all apple pie and whipped cream, it was this man. He might’ve had a soft spot for me once upon a time, but he’d ripped that part out and run it through a meat grinder. Or maybe that had been the fantasy of a googly-eyed teen?

“Don’t worry about it,” Kade said. “I owed you one.”

It was way more gracious than I’d expected—and a tad unbelievable, since I’d never heard of this debt to my brother. Kade cut his gaze to me, looking at me like a rodent he wanted to run off his land.

Yeah, what a great guy. Top of the line. Just super.

My brother laughed awkwardly, as if Kade’s look was some sort of joke. He didn’t know Kade the way I did. That man didn’t have a funny bone.

“Leah, I should get going,” my brother said, drawing my attention back to him. He let out a low sigh, his relief valve working overtime.

“Yep. Have a good trip.” I didn’t smile. We were all too far along for false pretenses. I couldn’t pretend Monroe hadn’t just dropped me off in the depths of hell and was now about to climb out and take the ladder with him.

He gave me a fast hug and whispered, “It’ll be over before you know it.”

The last time he’d used those words was when he was convincing me to climb through a patch of poison ivy because he’d been too lazy to walk around. It hadn’t been good then, and it would be even worse now.

Not to mention he was hugging me. We didn’t hug it out. We were more the hitting variety of siblings. If he was hugging me, I was about to die, and we all knew it.

He gave me a last pat on my back before hightailing it out of there. I stood there, listening to the sounds of his steps on the gravel like it was a funeral dirge. The car door shutting sounded like a gunshot hitting my heart. I watched the taillights disappear and forced myself not to chase after his car like a flea-ridden dog abandoned on the side of the road.

“You plan on moving, princess? I don’t have all night,” Kade said from the porch.

Yep, I was truly screwed.